


What Makes Us Human

by aspiringenjolras



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Data tries to help, Fluff, M/M, Q is a shithead but he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7733467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiringenjolras/pseuds/aspiringenjolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Throughout the months that Q has remained on the Enterprise after becoming human permanently, he’s managed to fall into a comfortable pattern with Picard. They don’t say that they’re dating— not to anyone on the crew, and not to themselves either. Of course they’d never call it that. But no one on the Enterprise is blind, and they can all see what’s happening. Then when the unthinkable happens and Picard is captured by the Borg, Q has to deal with the aftermath. He’s never felt guilt before, and it’s a terrifyingly human emotion. Now together, they must deal with their humanity: both newly gained and newly lost. For the QCard BigBang on tumblr!</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Makes Us Human

**Author's Note:**

> _It's only love, it's only pain_  
>  _It's only fear that runs through my veins_  
>  _It's all the things you can't explain_  
>  _That make us human_  
>  - _Human,_ Civil Twilight

“Oh, Jean-Luc, let me help. Please. What can I do?” Q padded around behind Picard in his quarters, trailing him like a helpless, lost puppy. 

“Q!” Picard whirled around, holding up his hands to stop the other from coming any closer. “You want to do something for me? Leave me alone. I need— time—  _ alone _ .” Q took a step back, looking insulted, hurt. But Picard didn’t even notice. “You do remember that you have your own room, don’t you?” 

Q crossed his arms, frowning. “Of course, Jean-Luc, but that’s hardly fair. All my stuff is in her— okay, okay, okay!” He threw up his hands to protect himself as Picard grabbed the object nearest to him— a pen— and flung it at him. “I’m going.” And with that he turned his back and slunk out, feeling guilty. 

_ Guilt _ . That was an emotion Q was still getting used to. He’d never had to feel guilty about anything when he was omnipotent. Of course, that was because as an all-powerful being, he knew the decisions he made were right. There was never anything to be sorry for. Even after he became human permanently, he spent those first few weeks reveling in his haughty superiority. Perhaps he had gotten a bit reckless, without any real responsibility. Somehow, he’d managed to get himself onto Picard’s good side, though. That was the biggest mystery to him. If he became a little more modest after a while, perhaps it was more the better. That was one of the first things Picard had taught him. Modesty was one of the most important human traits. And it was so opposite anything that the Q are taught. But when he and Picard sat down for dinner every week in his quarters, he learned a little bit more about what it was like to be human. Picard was the expert on it, after all, not just because he was human, but because he seemed to represent the exemplary human, the kind of man all humans strive to be. At least based on Q’s understanding of the race.

He barely recognized the Captain now, though. Physically, Picard had recovered from the Borg attack, but he had changed. He’d become distant, and Q noticed that Riker was taking over the shifts most days. Q had been expecting the first officer to make him do more work, simply because he was convinced Riker didn’t like him. But the man had actually left him out of shift duties ever since Picard’s return.  _ Did he just forget about me? Or does he— know? About me and Jean-Luc.  _ If there was anything to know. Picard always said there wasn’t. But whatever it was, there was a bond, a closeness between them unlike any other relation Picard had, even with Beverly Crusher.  _ I’m lucky,  _ Q often found himself thinking.  _ Lucky that he’s willing to put up with me, despite everything I’ve done.  _

Now, though? Q didn’t know what to do. And Picard wouldn’t talk about his experience with the Borg, either. Not to Q, not to Beverly, not even to Troi. The counsellor had actually come to Q, saying she was worried about Picard, and wondering if he had any insight. But still, nothing. 

“Q,” came a familiar voice behind him, and he spun around in surprise, jolted from his thoughts. “Data! You startled me!”

“I apologize,” the android said with a slight frown. “It was not my intention to do so. You appear to have been distracted, however.” Q brushed off the remark, shrugging. 

“Did you need something?” he asked curiously.

“I was simply wondering if you had seen the Captain recently. Many members of the crew are worried about him.”

“Are you worried?” Q asked, not wanting to admit that he’d been chased out of Picard’s quarters. 

“I am an android,” Data replied necessarily. “Therefore, I cannot feel worry or concern the way humans can. But yes,” he admitted, after a pause of consideration. “I suppose the wellbeing of Captain Picard is of the utmost importance to me, and it would be good to know if he is doing alright. So, if you do know anything…”

Q could’ve laughed. “Data, that’s what worrying is. I’m worried too,” he added. “I’ve seen him, but he won’t talk to me. I’d say that’s a sign that he’s not okay.”

“Am I correct in my understanding that he will not even speak to Counsellor Troi?”

“Yeah,” Q said. “He won’t talk to anyone.”

“Hm,” was Data’s only response for a while. And then: “Perhaps if you did something for him. Something to make him feel better.”

“I  _ tried  _ that!” Q said in frustration. “He threw a pen at me?”

“I beg your pardon?” Data asked, confused. 

“Nevermind,” Q muttered. “I asked if I could do anything for him, he said no, that he wanted to be alone, so I left.”

Data looked pensive. “I have often observed, Q, that when humans say they want to be alone, they usually mean just the opposite.” Q opened his mouth to interrupt, but Data kept talking. “However, I do believe that they want those in their company to simply be there, if they need anything, to keep them company. Not necessarily to ask them constantly if they are okay.”

Q looked down. He had been practically harassing Picard all morning. No wonder he seemed overwhelmed. Q had only wanted to help. But he was still getting used to the whole being human thing. “Thanks, Data,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll… I’ll go back and see. If I can keep him company. I’ll let you know if he opens up to me at all,” he added as he walked away. 

Outside Picard’s quarters, Q pressed the comm button. 

“No,” came the response. 

Q raised the pitch of his voice, comically. “Jean-Luc, it’s Beverly. I came to make you tea!”

“Q, go away.” 

“This isn’t Q! It’s Beverly! That dashingly handsome ex-omnipotent being doesn’t deserve to see you! I said I’m here to keep you company and make tea!”

There was silence from within the cabin for what was a painfully long moment. Then Q heard some shuffling around, and finally: “Alright, Q, fine. Come in.” The doors slid open and Q stepped inside. 

Picard was sitting on the couch, dressed in his uniform, pulling his boots on.” Q walked over quickly, then stopped. “Where are you going?” 

“To the bridge,” the Captain said gruffly. “I’ve missed too many shifts. I’m going to work.” He stood and made his way to the door. “I only let you come in so you could get your stuff out of here.”

Q feigned hurt. “Jean-Luc, that rather sounds like you’re breaking up with me!” 

“We were never  _ dating,  _ Q. We can’t break up if we were never dating.” Q couldn’t help but smile a bit. Despite the insult, Picard finally sounded a bit more like himself. 

“Well as your overprotective ex, mon capitaine, I say that you’re still in no shape to work. I’m sure Commander Riker can handle things on his own.”

“That’s not your decision to make.”

“Actually, I think it is. I’m Doctor Crusher, don’t you remember?” Picard scowled and glared at Q— a look which he returned determinedly. Finally, Picard relented. 

“Fine, fine.” He sat back down heavily on the couch. “But go make me some tea.”

“What?”

“You said you were here to make me tea, go do it. Earl Grey. Hot.”

“Oh,” Q said. “Well, I also said I was here to keep you company.”

“Well you can do that too. After.”

Q grumbled a response and walked over to the replicator. “Do I just… tell it what to make? Um… hot Earl Grey tea?” The replicator beeped at him and dispended a cup. “That was cool,” he said as he carried it over to Picard.

“Are you telling me that you’ve never used the replicator before?” Picard asked with a bemused smile. 

“It scares me,” Q admitted. “And you usually handle the food anyway. I’ve never had to.” Picard took a sip of tea.

“And what about when I was gone? What did you do then?”

Q froze. He wasn’t expecting Picard to bring up the Borg experience at all, and he was thrown off guard. He also didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t eaten at all during those days. He’d been too upset. “Um. I ate at ten-forward.”

Picard shook his head, and scooted over on the couch, a silent invitation for Q to join him. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“So you’ve told me,” Q responded with a hesitant smile. “You always say that you’ve never understood me.”

Picard was silent, and for a moment, Q thought he had said something wrong. “Jean-Luc, I—”

“I think I understand you a little better now,” Picard whispered, staring into his tea. Q looked at him, frowning. “You, working so hard to obtain some humanity. Sometimes failing miserably. Trying to figure out what it really means to be human. What is  _ feels  _ like.” He took a breath. “I get it now.”

_ So that’s what this is about. How did I not see it before? The others, I can understand. They’ve never experienced this. But Data— me— of course we get it! _

_ “How do you feel?” _

_ “Almost human.” _

“Oh, Jean-Luc,” Q said. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been able to help… It’s my fault that I couldn’t.” The Captain met his eyes, and Q could see the haunted, distant look in them. He really didn’t know what to say. “You’ve been through so much and you’ve been so brave.”

Picard averted his eyes, fingers tracing the edge of his uniform. “How can I be their Captain, secure and confident, when I’m not even entirely human? The Collective… it’s still a part of me. I can’t hear them anymore, but it’s like I can feel them. It doesn’t matter that the machinery is gone. It’s all of this—” he tapped the side of his head. “That made me part of the Borg.”

In a rush of emotion, Q grabbed Picard’s hand and held it gently, pressing it against the man’s own heart. “And it’s the pain and the fear that makes you  _ human _ . You can still feel. Even the emotions you can’t quite explain… You taught me that. You taught me that those are the things that make us human.” He smiled at the Captain,  _ his  _ Captain. “You need to follow your own advice. Sometimes, I think you forget that.”

“Q,” Picard said, finally looking at him. “Thank you.” He sighed and rested his head on the taller man’s shoulder, and in return, Q put an arm around him. “There’s something you’ve forgotten though, something else that’s more human than any of that.” 

Their eyes met again, and the word hung unspoken between them, first a question, then a reassurance. Q smiled, and pressed a kiss to the other’s forehead. “Mon capitaine, that’s something I’ve felt long before becoming human.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Make sure to drop me a line on tumblr [@peggyshoward](http://peggyshoward.tumblr.com) or on my Picard RP blog [@ofgoodconscience](http://ofgoodconscience.tumblr.com)!


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